Dear Grief,
Grief, you have been here a year today.
Grief, you changed me this year. You made me stronger than I thought I could be and weaker than I ever thought possible.
Grief, you changed me this year. I no longer see a picture of Dad and always smile. There are days when seeing his face drops me to my knees.
Grief, you changed me this year. I no longer leave Mom and Dad’s house with a smile knowing Mom had Dad with her to take care of her. I leave the house in tears watching Mom walk in and close the door behind her…alone.
Grief, you changed me this year. A tiny piece of me breaks every time I see “Mom and Dad” calling on my phone. For a brief moment, I forget that it will never be Dad again on the other end.
Grief, you changed me this year. I carry you everywhere; I never leave you behind. There are days you are light and unnoticeable and then there are days the weight of you is unbearable.
Grief, what you have not taken from me is the blessing of having an incredible man to call Dad.
Grief, what you have not taken from me are all the lessons given, guidance provided and love poured over me.
Grief, what you have not taken from me are the memories of Dad’s laughter, his quivering lip when he fought tears of pride for me, and his kind selfless nature prioritizing his family always above himself.
Grief, it has been a year and you have won more days than I.
Grief, it has been a year and you have been a part of it in some way every day.
Grief, it has been a year, but you have reminded me each day that you are a part of me now and you are here to stay.
Grief, know this. Try as hard as you may, but you will NEVER be bigger than Dad!! Not on my down days. Not on my hardest days. Not on my saddest days. Not on my loneliest days. Not on any day EVER!!
