Planning for the future is one of the most important gifts you can give your loved ones. While most people focus on dividing assets or naming guardians for children, one often-overlooked but deeply personal aspect of estate planning is deciding whether to include your burial or cremation preferences in your legal documents.
As an estate planning and probate attorney in Charlotte, North Carolina, I’m often asked:
“Should I put my burial or cremation wishes in my will, trust, or healthcare documents?”
Let’s explore the answer, because it depends.
Why This Question Matters
At the time of your passing, your loved ones will be grieving and facing countless decisions. The more clarity you can provide in advance, the more peace you offer them during a difficult time.
Burial or cremation? Funeral or memorial service? Religious or cultural traditions?
These are all deeply personal decisions and sometimes, they’re also deeply emotional for the family left behind.
That’s why it’s worth considering where, how, and if you should record those wishes.
When to Include Final Wishes in Estate Planning Documents
There’s no legal requirement to include your burial or cremation preferences in your will or trust. But in some cases, it’s absolutely appropriate.
You Should Include Your Burial or Cremation Wishes If:
- You are 100% certain about your decision
- Your preferences are unlikely to change
- You want to make sure your agents and loved ones have clear, written guidance
- You are working with a comprehensive estate planning attorney who knows where and how to document them properly
In these cases, including your final wishes in your:
- Healthcare Power of Attorney (for decisions made before death)
- Living Will or Advance Directive
- Letter of Instruction accompanying your will
…can help ensure they’re respected and followed.
When Not to Include Them in Legal Documents
It might surprise you, but there are times when it’s better to wait or leave them out.
You should not include burial or cremation preferences if:
- You’re still undecided or feel your views may change
- You don’t want to make a binding legal statement
- You want to give your loved ones some flexibility
Remember, once your will is finalized, it can be difficult to change unless you formally amend it. And in North Carolina, your healthcare agents are permitted to rely on your verbal wishes if you’ve made them clear during your lifetime.
Example:
If you’ve told your spouse and children, “I’d prefer cremation, but I’m still open to other options,” and your documents allow them discretion, they are legally allowed to rely on that.
Alternatives to Including Burial Wishes in Legal Documents
If you’re not ready to commit your burial or cremation choices to paper, here are a few practical alternatives:
- Have open conversations with your family and healthcare agents
- Write a personal letter or memo outlining your preferences (not legally binding, but helpful)
- Create a “Final Wishes” document that can be stored with your estate plan but updated as needed
Estate Planning Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All
The most important takeaway? There is no one “right” answer.
Estate planning is about creating a roadmap that reflects your values, your lifestyle, and your personal convictions. Final arrangements are a part of that picture but only if you’re ready to make those decisions now.
Let’s Plan for Peace of Mind—Together
I’m Sabrina Winters, an estate planning and probate attorney in Charlotte, North Carolina, helping families create thoughtful, customized plans that make life easier during some of the hardest moments.
If you have questions about what to include in your will, trust, or healthcare documents, I’d be honored to help.
📅 Self-schedule your consultation at www.sabrinawinterslaw.com
📍 Serving Charlotte and surrounding communities across North Carolina